The Comparison Trap: How It Messes With Your Writing

You are not doing it wrong.

Writing is deeply personal—but it’s also weirdly public.

We work alone, but we also see Publisher’s Marketplace listings for other writers’ book deals, and watch their subscribers grow, or hear a story about how a viral meme landed them an agent, and it can be deflating and crazy-making if we let it.

When we watch other writers seemingly skyrocket to success, our thoughts can spin out of control the other way and leave us feeling like we will never get our books done, let alone get an agent or get it out to the world.

That’s the reality (and danger) of social comparison. And as writers, we’re especially prone to it.

According to social psychologist Leon Festinger, comparison usually shows up in two ways:

Upward Comparison – Looking at writers who seem “ahead” (cue the bestselling memoir, six-figure Substack, or someone’s dreamy writing retreat in Italy).

Downward Comparison – Measuring yourself against writers who seem “behind” (which might offer a brief ego boost, but doesn’t feed your creative soul).

Either way, it can chip away at your confidence, distract you from your own voice, and drain the energy you need to actually write.

Writer, Beware the Comparison Trap

Writing is vulnerable. Comparison feels personal, not just professional.

We see only the highlight reels—book launches, awards, polished drafts—not the hundreds of quiet, messy days behind the scenes.

Social media makes “success” hyper-visible—and almost impossible not to track.

You Are Not Terrible

Social comparison is normal. You’re not a terrible person for comparing yourself to others, or wrong to feel envious of someone having the kind of success you want.

But over time, that mindset holds us back. Social comparison can block creativity, dampen confidence, and distract us from the writing.

It can also push us to write to trends, or try and impress others by sounding like someone we are not. It might cause us to write what we think the “market” wants, instead of writing the story only we can write.

So What Can We Do?

When I catch myself falling into that trap, these are a few tools that help me get back on track—maybe they’ll help you, too: